Dept of Elder Emo Affairs Tank

$32.00

For the ones who survived Myspace profile songs, side-swept bangs, and downloading entire identities onto their page layouts.

The Department of Elder Emo Affairs tank is a fake-official seal for a very real generation. Featuring a vintage-inspired eagle crest surrounded by “Born in America • Raised on Myspace,” this design looks like something pulled from a forgotten government agency dedicated entirely to warped tour summers and emotional damage.

Perfect for cookouts, parking lots, festivals, and pretending you still know how to crowd surf.

Size S M L XL 2XL

Color Navy Black

⚡ Fast Shipping

🤘 Free returns

This design is printed on a Gildan 5200. This tank is the shirt equivalent of saying “yeah, it’s hot in that pit and I’m not pretending otherwise.” The black and white shirts are made from soft, preshrunk cotton with a relaxed classic fit, it keeps things breathable whether you’re at a show or just trying to survive summer. The banded neck and armholes help it hold its shape over time, so even after countless washes and crowd surfs, it still looks like it belongs in your rotation.

Authentic

A family-run shop built by people who grew up in this scene... and proudly never left.

5-star Store

We obsess over the details to deliver killer quality at a fair price, every time.

Satisfaction Guarantee

Doesn't cover injuries sustained in the pit.

What our customers say

I mentioned that I procrastinated and was hoping to see the shirt arrive in less than a week so I could wear it to the show, & seller dropped a quick reply to let me know it was immediately in the mail. I had the shirt in hand four days later, and on my back for Blink within a couple more days. Nice fit, good material; 5⭐️

Mandi

Love the shirt, and get so many compliments with it! Good quality and fit true to size

Camryn

Excellent quality and outstanding customer service. I needed a shirt for a concert in a pinch so I reached out, explained my situation, and they covered expedited shipping to make sure I got the shirt in time. Highly recommend!

Mike C

Arrived quickly and SO CUTE! Great quality print, soft material

Tristan

This was a baby shower gift. She loved it!

Brianna

Adorable onesie! Purchased for a baby shower, was a hit!!

Cindy